Quick Bites: Getting Used with Khatumu
Making major life decisions and sobbing the whole way through
Quick bites are singular, focused looks at songs I’m digging right now.
Things in my life have felt static for a little bit. But with a book coming out next year, and marginal career success abound, I’ve been wanting to get myself out of this rut. Enter Khatumu.
I believe this song first went viral on TikTok, or Instagram Reels, not sure, but it’s so fucking good. The lyrics are so visceral and real and harsh.
Treat me like a dog
Take me out back
Put a bullet in my brain
Tell me that my hunting days are done
I’ve felt, for a long time, that I let people I love treat me like shit. Because I have an abandonment wound that pre-dates all of my current relationships, when people are abusive or just downright mean, I let it slide, I’m afraid of what I’ll lose.
I make the joke about wanting to be taken out back and shot like a dog often, especially when I’m under emotional duress. Khatumu’s plea of “tell me that my hunting days are done” hits me right at the core.
That feeling of just fucking get it over with, I want this to end is so…at the core of me when it comes to some relationships.
At one point in the song, Khatumu insists:
Treat me like a bitch, say I’m full of shit
Tell me that I’m no fun, so you’re done
Just treat me like I’m someone
And when I sing along to that “just treat me like I’m someone” there’s a lump in my throat.
One thing I’ve come to accept recently, and begrudgingly, is that I can be as sweet as can be, and people are still not going to treat me kind. I can love someone with all my heart and still not receive love in return. It seems silly that this is just now weighing on me, but I genuinely thought the people that I was closest to would prove this idea correct, right? WRONG!
Goodness does not always yield goodness. Love is not reciprocal, even if I want it to be. Even if my act of loving is selfless and from the wells of my heart, it doesn’t mean the other person will love me too.
Khatumu begs, “why do you speak monotone to me?” Essentially asking, why do you not care for me as I care for you? It’s heartbreaking, and her striking voice only makes it more so. With a grand indie rock sensibility, Khatumu is cementing herself as a voice to watch.
And for me? Will I ever learn my goddamn lesson? We’ll see.